confused Kay

by Stacia Leslie
(Canada)

Okay I have been with this man for 10 yrs now we have 3 boys together.I

In the summer I signed the two oldest boys up for soccer,one day after soccer my son said to me that one of the child on his team said that his dad was at his house to see his mother.

I asked him about it and he denied it,the next week the same child said to my son that he was just joking about what he said the week before.

After that the child never returned to soccer. Anyhow this man started going out of fridays to a pub not too far from us,he would leave on friday and return home and sunday and would claim he was at his sister's house.

I checked his cell and saw the lady number it was the same person from soccer he claimed to have known her long time from high school I told him I didn't buy the story and told him I knew he was cheating.

At christmas we we're suppose to go to my aunts house for dinner, I went from early to help with the cooking he was suppose to join us later,he didn't show up and the kids we're mad i called and he said that he was at his sister's house and that he felt sick.

I left my older son at my aunts place and took the baby and left and went straight to his sisters house when i got there the other woman was there having dinner with them,I got pissed and left he came home 2 days later with gifts for my kids from this woman she sent gifts for each of them calling herself aunt i threw them away and cussed out this stupid man and told him to go be with his lover.

Anyhow he claim his family is the most important thing to him and that he does not want to leave the problem is I don't think that I'll ever be able to trust him again. I feel like the love is gone and that he's gonna do the same thing I'm just really confused.

I don't know how to move on.

Comments for confused Kay

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Am where you are now.
by: Anonymous

I myself like the last comment did the same thing. I stayed with my cheater. While with him I was a stay-at-home mom, I got to raise my children, I got a bachelors degree and three classes from a masters degree.

Who knows my son doesn't graduate until June 2010, so I may just get a doctorate degree on him also. But it is over and I will file for divorce on June 15, 2008, just to give myself a nice birthday present.

I still love him, but I refuse to be treated like this anymore, and I am not. I am going to a concert at the end of June with the girls, and as far as I am concerned I am a free woman.

He can have his life over the next year and I will have mine. Our son gets the best of both worlds. He has mommy and daddy, and no arguing because I for one am not talking to him.

Want advise, here it is: Take everything you can out of the marriage now, and when the time comes where you cannot stand to look at him anymore, then take some more and then use him for the advantages that you can, and then when the kids are gone move on.

No one deserves to live thier life feeling the way you are. Be happy with your kids and ignore your husband, they are all idiots anyways.
Move on anyway!!!
by: Anonymous

I totally understand your devastation. My husband was caught cheating when a bill from the hospital showed he had been tested for STD's.

He denied it, stated that it was a mistake. I believed him because I deeply wanted to. Later on I made an appointment with my gyno because I had some problems with itching in the genital area.

I took the bill with me and found out what my problem was. I had an STD and it was obviously from him because he was the only person I had sex with.

When I had the facts in front of me I confronted him. Amazingly he still tried to lie to me.

In a state of fury I told him to get real or get out. He confessed. We went to marraige counseling but he never got really honest.

Eventually the therapist informed my husband that she would no longer provide services to him because he was not getting honest.

That was in 2000. I have stayed in the marraige because I was a stay at home Mom and I have used the time to obtain more counseling (for me!), gone back to school and have a successful career.

Nine years later I think he has been involved with three women and I believe he is currently involved with a fourth woman.

Here is the deal. I have turned this situation into one that works for me. I have taken the time to raise my daughters and take care of myself.

Call his bluff-see him for what he is (a liar) and create a good life for yourself. It will pay off in time. God bless you on your your journey!

Signed, Been there

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