husbands female friend

My husband has a female friend with who he has been friends with for years. I feel that she is stepping on my boundaries as she will get physically really close to him , drunk dial him at night, wants to constantly meet with him or go on vacations with him. I have confronted the issue with my husband but he says i m just being jealous, but i feel like boundaries have not been respected. now inorder to avoid the issue he tries his best to ensure his friend and i are not at the same party/place at any time. please advice.

Comments for husbands female friend

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Disrespectful female friends
by: Anonymous

I feel it is ok for my husband to have female friends because I am a confident woman so I have no jealousy, I do however find that there is disrespect from these women and my husband too. These women feel it is alright to call my husband whenever they want to time of day doesn't matter to them and my husband shows his disrespect when he takes the calls and carries on conversation with them, he sometimes tell me what the call are about and from what I gather these women are pitiful. I wish they would get it HE IS MARRIED.
Platonic friendships are possible, though.
by: Anonymous

I just want to caution y'all that platonic friendships are possible. Yes, trust your instinct - unless you are the jealous type who cannot stand it if your man has a female friend. I happen to be a woman who likes to deer hunt as my main hobby. My grandma taught me, and it is a big part of my life. Because of this, most of my friends are guys. I am on this forum today because one of my closest male friends is married to a controlling, jealous woman who insists he must be having an affair with me. We are not. I am married, and my husband is perfectly fine with my friends. I guess my point is that you need to look in the mirror and be honest, ladies. If you are truly normally not a jealous person, and you are not normally jealous of your partner's female friends, and one particular friendship has your radar up - fine. You are within your rights to question his friendship with a woman. BUT if you are truly normally a very jealous woman who doesn't want your man being friends with other women, you need to back up and take a good look at your attitude. Because from my experience, if you constantly accuse your man of cheating on you, if you don't trust him to have a platonic friendship with a woman, he will resent you in the end. And maybe even turn it into a self-fulfilling prophecy - have an affair because you already think he cheats anyway. If he is a good man, give him the benefit of the doubt. Some male-female friendships are just that - friendships. And there should be nothing wrong with it.
In the same situation.. But reversed.
by: Anonymous

So I was in the same situation as your Husband. I had a male friend that had been around since childhood. That sort of clouded my judgement on boundaries once I got married. I was used to talking to this other man every single day... And I had a mentality that whatever I did before I got married was acceptable after,

To make a long story short, things got tense in my marriage after baby number two and my Husband and I were distant. I went to my male best friend for advice and comfort.. Before I knew it, I was in the middle of a full on emotional affair. I started to really fall for my friend and I realized, I had feelings for him all along but denied it to myself.

One night.. He kissed me. I was shocked because he always told me he hated people who cheated.. That was a safety net for me through the years... That we were JUST FRIENDS and he would never want more.

It ate me up inside trying to pretend that kiss never happened and the guilt made me physically sick.. So I came forward to my Husband and have cut my friend from our lives.

I will never allow myself to be in this situation again. My Husband has forgiven me and we have moved on.. But I will be honest.. I fought tooth and nail for that friendship when my Husband initially told me he was uncomfortable. I gave him every excuse.. I lied and I hid things.

It's not hard to figure out.. Is he deleting texts and calls? Does he throw a fit if you bring her up? Are they ever alone together? Do they like to drink and hang out after your decide its time for bed? Does she compliment him or make a lot of eye contact?

These were just a few of things I was doing. I am so glad I can be honest about it now. I will never hurt my husband again and I am so thankful that our marriage is now stronger through counseling, prayer and total commitment to start over and forgive.

I really hope things are not like this for you... But I wanted you to see both sides of the spectrum. I'm not sure that all people mean to start an affair, but it can happen to anyone.
Trust your intuition - "When I caught the two of them having sex in our living room one early morning.."
by: Anonymous

Female intuition is always right. if you have this feeling of unease with the female friend.

Find more evidence. I will tell you my story. This just happened recently, My husband and his Girl best friend, who happens to be my son's godmother in baptism was having an affair.

I found out the truth in a very shocking way. When I caught the two of them having sex in our living room one early morning, when I happened to woke up unexpectedly.

They are cheating behind my back for nearly two years now and I do not have any idea at all. Same as your story every time I confront my husband he would tell me I am just jealous...until fate itself revealed the shocking truth.
husbands female friend
by: Anonymous

She is definitely over stepping her boundaries and the fact that all your husband has to say is you're jealous is a big red flag.

I would tell him that it is not about you being jealous, it's about her respecting the integrity of your marriage and she's not doing that.

Make sure that you give him concrete examples of what she is doing that is out of line. Next, you
tell him that if he doesn't tell her to back off that you will assume he is not as committed to your relationship, and you will deal with them both.

That's what I would do.
Hmmm...
by: Anonymous

It's a little shady that he tries to keep you two ladies separate. That is a red flag to me... almost like he was afraid of what might happen or what you might see...

On the other hand, I have had very close male friends that I wasn't afraid to get physically close to, and I honestly wasn't attracted to them, just loved them like friends. I don't think they were attracted to me either; I believe that male and female friendship can be 100% platonic, though it may not look that way from the outside in.

Anyways, I'm sorry, I have no advice for you; the last part of your post just struck me as off. I hope your situation resolves itself! Good luck!
have a plan...
by: Anonymous

we do have similar situation,as of the moment I too is confused on what to do especially we have 3 children who needs to go to college but one thing is for sure too much closeness between two opposite sex attracts extra marital affair.

what I have in mind is to "endure" "understand" what my husband is doing until such time that all of my children will finish their schooling and I will "move on".What is 8 more years if i have already endured for 13 years.

A cheater really is always a cheater.I believe his upbringing has something to do with it.

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