I am cheating on my husband with my ex girlfriend.

"I am cheating on my husband with my ex girlfriend"

I met her in high school. We had a special relationship, she had a girlfriend and I had a boyfriend, but we were ok with being together.

We didn't talk much about anything but enjoyed our time together. I quickly became hooked on her. She was not the type to be faithful so we drifted apart. We stayed friends and when I married my first husband she actually lived with us for a while.

I spent many nights in bed with him wishing it was her instead. But I knew it was a pointless relationship to have with her because she could never feel for me the way I did for her.

Eventually she moved out but only two doors down the street. My ex husband got along better with her then me and we ended up separating shorty afterwards.

Me and him didn't speak again. Me and her lost touch. I felt she hated me. But over the years I could never forget her. She always stuck with me. Everyone I ever dated after that new about her. She was forever a part of me.

I met the husband I have now in 2002 and married in 2004. I told him about her a few months into the relationship. At one point we actually seen her. He was quite unhappy about why I would have chose her. But instantly I didn't care, all i could think about was her.

I flooded with old memories. But I was faithful and planned on staying that way. She didn't seem interested in starting things up again anyway.
I moved states away and the years passed. Yet she still stayed on my mind. So many things reminded me of her.

I often wondered if she was happy or if she ever thought of me.Many nights I would dream of what i would say if I ever came across her again.
My marriage had been declining over the years.

This made my thoughts of her increase. He did not treat me well and still needs to grow up. She didn't treat me like I was anything special back then either but I still felt like I needed her in my life. I didn't understand why I felt so strongly for somebody who never really showed any feeling towards me.

So I finally gave in and began my search. A little while back I found her on the internet. For days a debated on if I should contact her. If I took the risk even though she may ignore me. But she did reply and seemed happy I contacted her.
As we started to message back and forth more feeling came back and memories were stronger then ever.

I remembered everything. I could even remember how it felt the first time she kissed me and how she smelled. I missed so much. Then it finally came out.

We both missed each other over the years and we both said "it". when she told me she loved me I actually cried.

It felt like all my fears drifted away. I couldn't believe she felt the way I did.
So we started an affair over the phone. But that wasn't enough and I went to visit her.

We didn't have much time together but I haven't been that happy in so long. Her kiss was better then i remembered and I missed that smell so much.

She has a girlfriend and I have my husband so once again we have that special relationship but its different. We are not the same people. We have both grown up. She can show me who she is inside and I can actually be me.

We are so different from each other but we are perfect for each other.

I wake up and look at my phone every morning thinking of when she may message me. I never set it down. Its always with me cause I don't wanna miss a single call or text.

I feel like I am in High School again and have a crush. She makes me feel young and happy. She can say one word and make me so happy.

I wish we could be together always but right now its not possible. We are both cheaters. I should feel guilty and sometimes I do. But I cant help it.

I love her so much and cant stand to be without her in my life. I wouldn't change her for anything. We may be with other people but we have pieces of each others hearts.
I know we will always be in each others lives in some way. Even if only friends we wish each other nothing but happiness.

She is in my future and I know she was sent to me for a reason. I never wanted to hurt anyone and hope everyday my husband doesn't find out.