I Am Having an Affair With a Married Man - "I know it's wrong but.."

"One day I hope to see a very good person staring back at me"

I Am Having an Affair With a Married Man

I am single but still...I never thought I would ever end up on a site like this admitting (even though its anonymous)to something like this. But here I am and I have found myself entangled in one big mess.

I met B**** around two years ago at our job, and we started out as friends. When I received my promotion it put me in a position in which I was working with him more in a one on one situation.

As we interacted more, we mutually began to throw in little flirtatious comments here and there. It then lead to us going out to lunch often.

The entire time this was going on, I never imagined a scenario in which it would ever be more than just "flirting on the job".

From what I knew, he was happily married and surely I never thought he would cross that line, because he was married.

Slowly I became the proverbial "shoulder to lean on". More and more, the discussions became how unhappy he was in his marriage. I didn't mind giving him my advice but the conversations began to get deeper and deeper and it was as if I was slowly but surely getting "sucked in".

Then there was the night....

There usually is that one night, and ours was after a few of us from the office went out to happy hour. We both had enough to drink (not blaming it on the alcohol) and "IT" happened that night.

And what an "EXPLOSIVE" night "IT" was...

and there more, and more, and more just like that one...

I know it's wrong but my body and my mind wanted it to continue.

I am having an affair with a married man and I am not happy to say it, but it has gotten to where I now have extremely strong feelings for this man.

I will not even dare to ask him if he would ever leave his wife because I know what they usually say and I am almost certain what the outcome of that will be.

So here I am....

Entangled in this love affair heading full speed down a narrow one way street, with no brakes, and a roadblock ahead.

This post was my first effort, in attempting to brace myself for impact. I am not even sure if he is truly in on the ride but I am certain that someone will get hurt

I am having an affair with a married man but I now know what has to happen despite the consequences.

I know that I can not stop you from judging me, and only I know that I didn't begin with any bad intentions.

I truly do feel bad for allowing myself to get to this point in my life.

I will be looking for the strength, courage and guidance to hopefully be able to redeem myself.

I look forward to the day that I can stand in front of a mirror, look deep into my own eyes and know that there is a very good person looking back at me.

That day is not today...

Comments for I Am Having an Affair With a Married Man - "I know it's wrong but.."

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starstarstarstarstar 		I'm pursuing more married men...
by: Anonymous

I am a single woman with kids, I slept with a married man at a hotel that I met online. It has only happened once (so far). we tried to plan again but he canceled. He does not message me or anything anymore. Two weeks ago I sent him an email asking if we could meet. he said he will have to check, and said that he is not avoiding me, just doesn't have a lot of free time. I am pursuing more married men online but none of them compare. I want that one...
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starstarstar 		It can happen to you
by: Anonymous

I also used to judge... until it happened to me. Worst is, I'm a born again Christian. I hated myself for it. But I couldn't leave my husband, although we have been sleeping in different rooms for 3 years (he took the baby in and I moved out) He never asked me to move back. We drifted apart.
So I fell in love with this man. We haven't had sex and it's not sexual. He is waiting for me and willing to give up his broken marriage. Me, I'm the problem. I'm living a lie, but I can't walk out because I pity my husband.
So yes, i know it's wrong to fall in love with someone else when you're married, but until you haven't experienced rejection, hurt, and then acceptance and a deep, emotional and amazing (not even physical) love, don't judge... rather help and pray.

To the person who originally posted this... He wouldn't have cheated if he was happily married. (same as me). I'm not a bad person, and neither is he. For me it's not about sex and I'm sure thats not what it was for you 2.

Whatever happens, someone is going to get hurt. I pray that he makes the right decision and that whoever ends up hurt, will heal and forgive themselves. YOU are NOT a bad person. xx
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starstarstarstarstar 		Just wanna say something
by: Anonymous

I just found out 4 months ago my husband cheated on me. I am hurt and angry at him. Im upset with the girl but I don't hate her I could never sleep with a married man my dad cheated on my mom and they divorced so I know the pain from being a child and a adult. My husband cheated for two weeks and he told her how unhappy he was and how horrible I was because he couldn't say how I had stood by him for ten years and was the only person that lives him besides his kids( his family doesn't speak to him). He realized he messed up and wants to work things out. I'm just saying to any girl dont believe everything you hear because if the guys wife is so horrible or their marriage is over then why isnt he single yet. My dad cheated his way from relationship to relationship he couldn't be single for a day and if a guy is having a long term affair and says he isn't sleeping with his wife he is probably lying my dad was. My husband was out of town. I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to do it hurts everyday and i have seven kids to think about. I swore I wouldnt be like my mom and forgive that was always my deal breaker and now I'm a hypocrite these days. Please don't have a hand in a marriage ending if he wants to leave his wife you need to step back and start a relationship when he is single. If he loves you he will. It's bad enough when a marriage ends she shouldn't have to deal with him cheating too.
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starstarstar 		My Input
by: Anonymous

To the women who left comments:
I'm sick of reading the reactions from you married women. I hate to break it to you all, but your husband wasn't an innocent man whom happened to fall innocently into a cheating situation because a terrible witch came along.

He cheated on you because he wanted to. It is your husband's fault not the woman he slept with. HE was the one married and HE chose to fuck someone else anyway. So STFU and stop blaming this girl to make yourself feel better about being cheated on.


To the original poster:
You already have the answer to the question you're asking. You know what you're involved with, and you know where it is going. You know how hard it is to stop, and you know how convincing he is going to be to get you back.

It's just a matter of stopping when you're ready. And if hitting that wall is what it takes to make you ready, so-be-it.

In the end, you are going to hit that wall anyway. You will be hurt. The question really is just a matter of when and how.
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starstarstarstarstar 		Hurt and Still Crying
by: Anonymous

I just want to say that I think you should cut it off now before you get any more emotionally attached. Sometimes I think men think they are in love with the other woman and their wife looks more and more horrible because with the other woman, it's all fun.

No obligations, your not the one at home all day with their kids, cooking, cleaning and washing clothes, helping with homework and things like that. Your the one he is doing all the single things with, that make him feel like he is single again.

The wife cant have make-up on every single day when he comes home from work, or be all dressed up everyday, instead we are the one that he comes home to and the baby just spit up on our shirt, our hair is disheveled from chasing the two-year old all around the house.

And do you know how much it HURTS to know that he was out with someone else having a grand ole time running away from his responsibilities!!!!!

Just remember even if you two get together, you may eventually have a child and then you will just take her place at the house, home alone!!
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starstarstarstarstar 		Having Affair With a Married Man - "Women like you are so selfish"
by: Anonymous

Keep your legs crossed next time. Oh, you may also want to consider not sleeping with married men. Women like you are so selfish.
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starstarstarstarstar 		reply to "Looking back at me" - "If you take nothing else from what I've said, remember these 3 things"
by: Anonymous

You sound like you are a good person. I'm glad to hear you say you realize men often say how unhappy they are in their marriage or how "bad" their spouse has become when in an affair. Whether it is true or not is irrelevant as he is married. That means he made a commitment to his wife.

My ex cheated on me and I cannot stress enough the damage dit did to my soul. He was verbally and emotionally abusive during our 15 year relationship and at the end he would repeat things to me that I KNEW he was simply repeating, like, "it's NOT criticism, it's simply a reasonable suggestion," or "I'm not criticizing you, I'm only making an observation." All these things the other woman was telling him in answer to his complaints about me and our life.

There will be no winners here except for possibly him. He has the best of both worlds and will destroy both you and his wife. My ex tolod me he loved me every single day. He told me he loved me THAT day that I caught them in MY bed. When i caught them in my bed, he became enraged and lashed out at ME. He shouted that he had been trying to "get rid of me" for the past three years. I assure you he was not. He was simply too narcissistic to admit (even to himself) that he was wrong.

I know how easily we women can be subtly manipulated by narcissistic men. Please honey, I implore you to take a look deep within yourself and ask what kind of relationship you want. Right now you are in one where you will always be his second priority. Don't you deserve better?

If he left her tomorrow (or more likely she left him)and pledged his love and commitment to you, how could you trust it? As you grow older and your looks start to fade will you question his answers as to why he was "working so late for so many nights," or will you remember the excuses he gave her when the two of you were together?

If you take nothing else from what I've said, remember these 3 things:

1. Both YOU and SHE will be hurt by this affair.

2. If he will cheat WITH you, he will cheat ON you. Count on it.

3. You deserve better and you are worth better.

Good luck,
one who learned the hard way

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