Is Going to a Strip Club Considered Cheating? Please Help!

by :(

"My husband is frequenting strip clubs"

Is Going to a Strip Club Considered Cheating?

My husband is frequenting strip clubs and it is causing a big problem in our marriage that he doesn’t seem to recognize.

When I met my current husband, he would frequent strip clubs. We were very good friends before we really got together. He would tell me about his nights out with his boys at the strip club. As a friend, these stories were harmless to me. I always had my opinion on these types of places. Nothing positive could happen there. That was the way I thought then, and that is the way I think now.

Back then, as a friend I had no grounds to tell him what he could and couldn’t do so he went when he pleased and that was that.

To make a long story short, we started catching feelings for each other and he really fell hard for me. Our relationship got intense quickly and we became a steady item.

During this stage he pretty much stopped hanging with his friends like he use to. Because of this he didn’t go to strip clubs either. This went on for quite some time with it eventually leading to us getting married.

During the first year or so of our marriage everything was exceptional so the issue never came up about strip clubs. I really thought that phase of his life was over.

I was wrong! So wrong!

What was I suppose to do? While we were dating, he completely stopped going to the strip clubs and things seemed perfect. Why would I bring up issues that weren’t there?

Well here we are today. Married, and having issues about dam strip clubs!

My question to you is:

Is going to a strip club considered cheating?

My husband keeps insisting that is it harmless and that I didn’t have a problem with it before we got married. If it was a problem then why did I marry him?

I am so confused because I did know about him going to these places and I never expressed any kind of negative feelings then. Do I have the right to feel the way I do now, and how do I get past this?

I do not have any other major issues in our marriage right now. I would consider our sex life good and hopefully he would say the same.

Please, I am looking for some advice from someone that may have gone through something similar. Do I have anything positive to look forward to?

How would you feel in my situation?

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Comments for Is Going to a Strip Club Considered Cheating? Please Help!

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Married men do not belong in strip clubs!
by: Anonymous

First of all, it is demeaning for the "guy"; I won't use the word "man" because a "man" knows how to conduct himself. Second, it is extremely disrespectful to the wife! A married man took a vow to honor, cherish and respect his wife. It's that simple. When a man has sexual desires to the end of watching other naked woman, that is a form of infidelity. When a man is watching naked woman and is in the company of strippers ready to do whatever, he is putting himself in a position to be tempted. In addition, he is fantasizing about having sex with those women -- and that is cheating. A married man is suppose to fantasize about his wife. Together a husband and wife should be fulfilling each other desires. That is the way a real "man" conducts himself. If a married man cannot respect his wife and control himself by staying out of strip clubs, etc., then he needs to be single...
:(
by: Anonymous

Sing it, other anonymous person! I agree!

Going frequently to a strip club may be "normal" behavior for a single guy in his early 20's, but for a married man it is not acceptable.

My biggest issue with it is the guy is spending YOUR money (because it *is* both of yours) on other women. Going to strip clubs does not qualify as a hobby.

All that said, I highly doubt he's doing anything with the strippers. From my experience with a particularly nasty club (I was trying to make a guy friend feel better after a breakup, big mistake!), men just sit there with their mouths open staring at naughty bits; only the dudes with the serious cash to burn were getting, um, "serviced".

Anyways, the other big issue is that almost everything in moderation is okay... if he was going once or twice a year I doubt you would be having this issue. He's putting his wants (or possibly addiction?) ahead of your feelings, and that is NOT okay.

You deserve much more from a man, my dear. Not saying dump him, but he needs to take a hard look at what his behavior is doing to you.
going through it too
by: Sucker

To me if they cannot do it in front of you or won't want you to do it, it's cheating.
I would never a marry a guy who went to strip clubs so imagine my surprise when I found out that he was going weekly after I got pregnant with my second child.
Strip clubs are meant for single boys to have fun, it?s not a place for married men. Being someone?s favourite is different from being someone?s one and only.
My advice is that if he doesn't seem to be bothered by it, but it bothers you, you may have to move on. Especially before the kids come along or trust me, you will regret it. There are men out there that would love you enough to make you their one and only. I hope that he realizes that before you r gone for good. Good luck
Why does a married man have to frequent strip clubs?
by: Anonymous

Why does a married man have to frequent strip clubs?

I understand your dilemma when you say that he use to go before you two got together but things change.

Life changes, and responsible adults change along with it. He chose to take the views of marriage and with that he should respect you enough to make that change for the betterment of the marriage.

A strip club is no place for a nastier man and I agree with when you say nothing good happens there. Besides the numerous sex acts that go on there, you always hear about shootings at these places.

He should not be putting his family at risk by frequenting these places. I think you née to stand up for what you believe in and let him know it has to stop or else.

A married man should not be frequenting strip clubs. Point blank!

Good luck!

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