Is he cheating

by Jane
(NY)

Hi all, I am going to make this short because I can go on and on forever and I don't want to bore you all.

DH and I have been married 13 years we have 3 children. He is a bartender. For some time now I have been feeling insecure in our relationship.

I call it womans intuition, I just felt that something was going on. I have been monitoring the cell phone bill for the past couple of weeks and here's what I found. 42 text messages in 3 weeks to a young girl he knows from the bar.

When I asked him about it he claims they are just friends and it means nothing. He has her name stored in his contact list under a man's name and all his texts and voicemails are deleted.

He says this is because he was afraid to upset me if I found them, he didn't mean to intentionally deceive me even though that's how it turned out. He claims she texts him to find out what is going on at his bar so she knows if it's worth going over there and that she is dating another bartender friend of his.

In truth 90% of the texts were initiated by him and some were in the middle of the afternoon from home, not from the bar. My gut tells me not to believe a word he says but I am feeling conflicted. What do you all think????

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Experience counts
by: Anonymous

Don't believe him, I have a male friend who used to put girls that he was sleeping with, their numbers in his cell phone under guys names so that his girlfriend/fiancee/bar trash, wouldn't find out.

He is now married to someone else, and he is still doing the same thing. He told me before he got mad at me for being a female, that this is what all guys do when they are trying to hide the girls they are cheating on thier girlfriends with.

My husband is too dumb to do this, because unlike most wives I am too hard to fool. Please do not believe him, it will only cost you pain. File for divorce and hire a good attorney.

If you have access to the phone account, you should try to call the phone company and see if you can get a copy of the texts.

It may work, if you can convince them that you are trying to keep an eye on your children and who they are texting.

So you have to lie a little, if it eases your curiosity and gives you the proof you need, then it is worth it.
Been there! Done that!
by: Anonymous

My husband was doing the same thing. He was deleting his text history, clearing his cell call history. I had already been monitoring his call history for quite some time. Call it "women's intuition." He was cheating. I cold busted him and he tried to talk his way out of it. We decided to make a try of saving our marriage. We hae been married 10 years and have 3 children. He isn't any better toward me than he was before I caught him. Once a man starts the cheating process, he is always going to be open to the possibility again. Make your plans to get him out and make sure you hire a fantastic attorney. He did the cheating and he should have to pay dearly!!

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