Is my wife cheating on me?

by RR
(Bahrain)

My family is currently residing here in Bahrain. I work in an office exclusive for all male professionals.

My wife works in a hospital as a Secretary to the Department Director, a doctor who is an Arab national.

She needs to work to help ease our expenses with our 3 children schooling. Relative to my story, as per my wife's account, this doctor had a previous Secretary whom he continue calling and sending text messages even after office hours.

Though she did not claim they have an affair, but it is how it looks to me. I am a man and of course can read the minds of my colleagues.

Being in Arab country, the least I can think of how they can have an affair is in the office - during lunch time? break time? wee hours?

As going out in a car or in a hotel is illegal esp. if the couples are not legally married.

To summarize my story, I shall enumerate some changes I have observed with my wife which were uncommon to me as follows:

1) Right after she reaches home from the office, she would proceed to the toilet and I found out after checking (without her knowing) that she washes her undies and put it in the washing machine. This happens irregularly upto now.

2) One day, I came earlier from work, when she arrived I kissed her and felt she was not wearing a bra. When I asked her, she said she reported to the office without it that day as she feels more comfortable(?) and she didn't mind as she was wearing a suit which covers her breasts.

3) At not only one occassion, when she was giving me an oral sex, she measured my d**k with her fingers, unaware I was looking at her. I'm an average size and my impression was she might have seen other penis longer than mine.

4) At not only one occassion, she would refuse me having sex with her telling it's still painful while the last time we had sex was two days ago.

5) When we're having sex, she usually reaches her climax with my finger(s) for a longer time, not by oral sex nor (as I believe) by intercourse.

When we are in intercourse act, she'd claim it gets painful so she would always want me to finish at that position. When I'm done, it's usually the end of the lovemaking.

6) Recently, I started noticing that after I ejaculated in her, she would beg for more and if I could no longer comply with my penis, she would ask me to finish her with my finger.

7) Recently, in almost once each week, she would come home around 45 minutes late. Their office hours ends at 4:30pm, she usually reaches home at 4:50pm by walking.

In one instance, I called her on her mobile but she did not answer. After 10 minutes, she called back saying she was on her way home.

8) Usually, she agrees having sex with me even with monthly period. I find her more aggressive and demanding during her fertile period.

Recently, she would still have sex with me even with monthly period, but she seems avoiding me during her fertile period by way of showing irritability for almost no reason at all.

9) Earlier before my prior accounts, at one time, her phone rang while in front of me, she answered the call and while going away from me towards one room, she whispered the words "why did you call here?" in a soft voice.

When I asked her, she said somebody from the office who was inquiring for a job vacancy in the hospital.

I was stupid that I didn't even check the number or attempted to call that person back. Maybe I was just beginning to suspect she was cheating.

10) Months ago, or maybe already a year ago, I would wake up seeing her giving me an oral sex. It never happened again since then.

11) Most recently, when she came home late, and asked her why, she responded that her boss asked her to type about 5 memos in front of him.

Just imagining the scenario of herself and her boss in her office alone, that almost all her officemates and other doctors have gone home, makes me assume that something is happening.

These are just some of the speculations and observations I have. What makes it worst is I still couldn't find a very valid or physical proof that these suspicions are true. Can somebody give me some enlightenment?

As contrary to the accounts above, I'm the first serious boyfriend of my wife. We have been in a long distance relationship for almost 10 years that she claimed she did not have any boyfriend.

When we talk about extra affair or cheating, she would use the name of God to prove she never dreamed of having someone else touch her. But this is not what I felt.

It will be too difficult for me to investigate further as I have no access to their office and think inappropriate to ask any of her officemates.

I have the principle that if I find my partner cheating on me, I would definitely let her go, irregardless we have three children.

But it seems I'm living in a situation I never wished to happen. I'm a straight-type of person. I couldn't accept the fact that she'd be used by another man.