Is Sexting Considered Cheating? My Mind Is Going Crazy!

Is Sexting Cheating?

Is Sexting Cheating?

Is sexting considered cheating? I recently found sexting text messages on my girlfriends phone. She left to work one morning and forgot her cell at home. When she called home, she seemed overly concerned about her phone. I wouldn’t have thought anything of it until her actions made me suspicious.

I must admit I snooped, but only because of how she was acting towards her phone. I can understand someone getting mad if someone else went snooping through their belongings, but what about if you find something wrong by doing so? That is what happened to me. I found several sexting texts back and forth between my girlfriend and someone else.

I know of this person, but I do not know this person. From what I know, and what she told me, this person is a very good friend from the past that she reconnected with on Facebook.

For those of you that don’t know what sexting is, it is:

Sexting is a term coined by the media that generally refers to sending, receiving, or forwarding sexually suggestive nude or nearly nude photos or sexually suggestive messages through text message or email.

The messages I saw did not include any pictures, but the language was very provocative and very sexually suggestive.

I would like others opinions on , is sexting considered cheating?

I confronted my girlfriend and she tried to make it seem as if I was wrong and psycho for going through her phone. She tells me that if I don’t trust her then maybe I shouldn’t be with her.

Well, after seeing those sexting texts, she is RIGHT!! I don’t trust her.

Even if she didn’t do anything with this guy, I can’t help to believe that things could get physical in the future based on the sex texts that I saw.

One particular text said something like: “I can’t wait…until then.. :) “

Please, I would like to hear your thoughts, feedback, suggestions..anything…my mind is going crazy!

Is sexting considered cheating? Do I have a right to be angry? Is SHE in the wrong?

and what should I do?

Return From Is Sexting Considered Cheating to Cheating Home

Comments for Is Sexting Considered Cheating? My Mind Is Going Crazy!

Click here to add your own comments

Apples and oranges
by: Anonymous

There are too many things to consider for it to be that simple. I am a man im a relationship and i was caught sexting when my girlfriend went through my phone. I never locked my phone and was never jumpy when she would use my phone. I dont consider it cheating, but are my feelings the only one's that count because i was the one doing it? She doesn't really know my true inner feelings. It meant nothing to me. It was simply a lustful fantasy. But her feelings matter to me and she was obviously hurt. It doesn't matter what it was to me but what it was to her. I am ashamed of how it made her feel. I am embarrassed by how hurt and upset she was and is. And when i think about life without her i fall apart. Well, now, whatever she decides to do she is within her right. I dont want to lose her, but i should have thought about that first. If she feels i cheated then i cheated and if she feels she can no longer trust me what should i expect her to do? What would i do? What would anyone do? And i wouldnt blame her for leaving. So what is sexting really? Cheating? Not cheating? I think it is both. I think some couples may not call it cheating and some may not think its a big deal. In a nutshell it depends on how your partner feels. Its a matter of perception. All relationships are different. Too many differences to count....only advice i could give is talk to your partner before doing something you may regret as i regret. If your partner doesn't like the idea...dont do it. If you feel you have to hide it, you probably shouldn't do it..
Definitely
by: Anonymous

Let me ask you this....... Is verbal abuse considered abuse? Then bottom line verbal cheating (sexting) is still cheating. Unfortunately once that trust is broken you may never get it back.
There's always that one in the crowd
by: Carla

To the anonymous poster who entitled their entry "Crazy People!!" You're absolutely wrong!

Cheating is not defined by weather or not an STD can be caught- where did you hear such rubbish? There are different types of cheating, including emotional cheating.. you can't catch an STD from that, honey. Read the definitions posted here by others, and you'll see.

Emotional cheating is just as hurtful to the significant other as actually doing the deed; itself, so yes... sexting is definitely cheating.

Giving your full sexual attention for any duration to another, be it through text, verbal convo, or actual physical activity IS CHEATING! I feel sorry for anyone you'll be in a relationship with, anonymous. How would you react if your significant other were sharing sexual thoughts and ideas with another? STDs are not the sole determination.
Sexting may just save your marriage
by: Chris

I don't consider sexting cheating. You and I know that you have many bad thoughts all the time. Thoughts of probably even leaving your spouse. But if you don't leave them and you stay in an unhappy marriage, is that any better than sending a few nudies to someone else. It all depends what you do after the pictures are sent. I would much much rather be in a relationship with someone that sexted but never cheated and I was happy, than to be in a relationship with someone that didnt but we were completely miserable. Life is all about perspectives.
Sexting is cheating, I agree.
by: Anonymous

I agree with other people comments on here. I personally think sexting is cheating because your partner or spouse is emotionally insecure with themselves. I feel that explicit sexual language to another person through text message is also cheating as well.

I been through that same route with my fiance and he says their just friends, but I do not believe anything on what he says anyway. Don't feel bad because everyone is going through that struggle in their relationship.
is sexting cheating?
by: Anonymous

Same thing happened to me. My bf was not only sending photos of his genitalia but was also telling them how bad he wanted to 4u(# them. This happened to me twice. Even though he tells them that his heart remains to me and that he is going to marry me he still shows them his genitals. The reason I feel this is cheating is I feel that their parts should be for their partners eyes only and they should ONLY be telling their partner that they want to have intercose with only their partner. He is upset with me because I looked throw his phone and wonders why I can't trust him, hmm I wonder why! The second time I caught him he told me how he hates to hurt me and is going to stop and I flat out told him B.S. I'm still with him and am trying to get him to stop for he hasn't slept with any body yet but if he does make it to that I'm gone. And yea they are over protective with their phone another hint I learned is if I'm upset he always asks if it was his fault even though I've told him several times it wasn't he also asks questions like "would it be okay if I sexted but had you name written on it?" And if he's in the bathroom and his phone gos off he automatically checks it and makes sure he has it and that I dont have to hand him his phone.
Found on Yahoo
by: Anonymous

I found the same crap on my boyfriends yahoo messenger!!!! It was disgusting!!!!! I could not believe what I read. It is cheating, I love myself too much to be with someone like that, rather be alone
sexting is cheating
by: Anonymous

Sexting is cheating. I know this simply by the pain I am experiencing right now. My wife was upgrading her phone and asked me to download her pics to the computer. What a surprise. She's not very tech savy. Videos of love songs to him, tons of pics....I was so angry. Anyway, she begged forgiveness and over long conversations where I insisted on the truth, she had been doing this for 2 years. Building up to this one ugly lowlife that got very personal for probably 4 mos. Even though she promised never again on our childrens lives, I caught an email sent 30 days later. The kicker was he was dumping her. Little justice. I had to tell my 16 yr old son and 18 yr old daughter. Wifey/ Mommy just fell to an inch above street level hooker. Be careful with this stuff.
It can destroy more than just a marriage.
Sexting is Cheating!!!
by: Anonymous

Yes it's cheating! It has the same emotional outcome for the cheated person as a physical affair.
My wife of 30 years broke my heart
by: Devouted husband

I caught my wife sexting another man a month ago, we fought like crazy over this because to me it's no different that physical cheating. I cheated on my wife when we were first married I was 22 at the time. I was totally ashamed of myself and spent the last 27 years making up for it. always telling her I love her showering her with gifts randomly sending her flowers and cards on her pillow. I devouted my life to her. I caught her sexting a man my affair last one time one weekend. She admitted to me that her sexting with him lasted over a year they exchanged graphicc photographs and has admitted that in the last 6 months when we were making love she fantasized about him when I was inside of her. Now she has admitted that it's multiple men 10 or so in sex chat rooms while I was at work. We spent an enormous amount of time talking working it out. She promised it would never happen again. I had surgery a week ago. I placed spyware on our computer the day after I had surgery and I was in the hospital she sexted more men in chat rooms. When I confronted her she denied it when I showed her the sexting log from the spyware all she could say was oh well you caught me. I made a terrible error a long time ago and I truly tried to repair our marriage ever since. But she doesn't care how badly it all hurts so after being married for 31 years having 4 children all are grown now and 5 grandchildren. I want to know am I wrong to ask for a divorce
Sexting is Cheating
by: Anonymous

I myself just found out that my husband has been sexting an old fling for months!!! She lives in another state...he tells me its because he was unhappy and was being selfish. He told this woman things about our marriage and how we parent our daughter. When I confronted him and her, he was deeply upset with himself. Cried even. Her on the other hand-started saying horrible nasty things to me and about me. What did I do to her? I don't want to give up on my marriage or family. I love him but the trust is completely gone. I'm constantly checking his phone. I haven't found anything since last week. He even called her and told her it was over and wrong and that he wants to work on his marriage. He has agreed to go to counseling. But sexting is CHEATING!!! Emotionally damaging to any relationship!!! There is no trust anymore and if you need to talk dirty to someone other than your significant other then clearly there are problems. I knew we were having issues but never expected to have this happen. Anyone who doesn't think its cheating has never been in a true relationship!!!! It is hurtful, deceitful and wrong-no matter how you look at it. Intimacy is a special connection between you and your partner! Its the closest you will get to another person ever!!!! I hope it works out for you-you were not wrong for confronting her and she wouldn't be so upset if she believed she wasn't doing anything wrong!!! Good luck!
Doesn't matter - the effect is the same
by: Anonymous

YES!!! My husband told me yesturday that he has been sexting another woman via email for the last few weeks. They've exchanged pictures and sexually expicit emails (although he says they are tame - not from what I've seen!) He's very vague about the exact time that this started. He only told me because she has started to blackmail him for money threatening to tell me. He says it started because I got a new job and didn't have time to sext him anymore.

The funny thing is that I confronted him 2 weeks ago with suspicions that he was cheating. He said that I was too posessive and that he would never, ever hurt me like that. (Looking me straight in the eye) I was an idiot and chose to believe him.

Now he says that, in his own defense, he never touched her. (Looking at me straight in the eye) He also seems strangely obsessed with the fact that blackmail is illegal. He even called the police after talking to me. (I had to lie to my children about why a police officer showed up at our door - of course that didn't add to my stress!!)

It's Labor Day weekend and I have done nothing but hide my tears and avoid family because of my heart break. He admits that it is a form of cheating, but has been pressuring me to 'make our marriage work.' I finally caved, (because he was hiding out in the garage and avoiding our children - leaving me to give the explainations for his odd behavior) and agreed to try. Now I can only say that our marriage has an expiration date. When my youngest graduates, I'm gone.

When he tells me that he never touched her, I say it doesn't matter. He might as well have had sex with her, the effect on our marriage is the same.
100% YES
by: Anonymous

I just recently discovered that my husband has been visiting the dreaded XL and emailing women from there, saying things like how he can be kinky and use his tongue ring. One problem..., he doesn't do any of that at home. He got upset about me "snooping" as well. I don't know if we will be able to work it out. He keeps blaming me. This is the second time too. Not my fault, nor is it yours.
crazy people!
by: Anonymous

Sexting is not cheating!!!! Cheating results in std's...if you can't catch std's from it or have babies as a result...its not cheating! Its no different than reading/watching porn or calling a 900 number-only that its free! If it leads to a hookup-thats when it becomes cheating!
I can sympathise
by: Anonymous

I 100% believe it's cheating. I had a baby last April and found out via email his payment 4 an extramarital dating site which he catagorically denied and sed sum1 had hacked in2 his PayPal account!! He admitted what he had done and promised it wudnt happen again only 4 me 2 find out on my lil girls birthday last December that he was doing it again and had been 2mths after I caught him the 1st time. So I messaged the women telling them how they'd helped him ruin my lil girls birthday and Xmas and their reply was that it was my fault he was on there cause I'm not seeing 2 his needs!!!!!! And that it was all harmless fun(emails)!!!! Again he sed we meant everything 2 him and that he wud never risk losing us again 4 me 2 find text messages on his 'work' phone from a woman that was so vile wen I saw her pic that she didnt look human. We ended up involving the police cause she was a fruit loop. Now I don't no wot 2 do as I hav no trust wotsoever but don't hav the strength 2 get rid n I wish I did!!!!
Is Sexting/Texting Cheating
by: Blues Icon

Sexting is most definately cheating.I can certainly relate to your problem, and believe me it is most definately a serious problem.I have found seriously suggestive texts/sexts on my wifes phone and on her facebook. It is not just one guy, but it is most prevalent and suggestive with two people in particular. I have pretty much come to the conclusion thru reading these messages that she has definately had a physical relationship outside of our marriage on more than one occasion. I am trying to pretend that I dont really believe this to be true, and I am really trying to make this marriage work. I am really trying to be extra affectionate, nice and loving. As far as I'm concerned, this is the last ditch effort before a divorce. We have two kids together ages 13 and 16. Things have improved lately between us but I know that she does not really want to totally stop with these flirty/dirty texts.I'm going to continue to work on our marriage and see if we get completely back on track. however if she doesn't start acting 100% like a faithful wife very soon I am going to go ahead and let her know that I am filing for a divorce - of course after I hire a PI and get the undisputable proof of all her in proprieties. If the shananagens continue after our efforts to really improve things, then I know we are not meant to be together and I am sure that I can find someone much nicer and more compatible.
YES YES YES its Cheating
by: Anonymous

I have been through this with my current boyfriend, A girl called his phone 730 in the morning after he had left for work so i got curious and went through his phone there were dirty texts to a few different girls&he had been emailing nude photos to about 6 different females. We had been dating 7 months at the time&the texts/emails go back to shortly after we started dating!!! He admitted to it right away after i confronted him and i ended up staying with him we have been together for a year&4 months BUT honestly i never fully forgave him and got over it yet...it all still hurts me from time to time. My advice talk to her&follow your heart if you truly love her you can&will get over it itll just take time. But YES it is cheating whether things were physical or not it all hurts the same. Good luck
Yes.It is Cheating
by: Diann

I caught my BF he was with six I counted cheating.I feel so bad but that's what he likes so I don't have any control over that.Yes.Cheating is cheating.
Sexting = cheating
by: Anonymous

Wiki offers a formal definition of cheating under the 'Personal Relationships' category.

My definition of cheating would be any sexually or emotionally charged act that you wouldn't want your spouse to know about. In other words, yes- I definitely consider sexting as cheating. You didn't know about it; never gave permission for it and it was done behind your back. Cheating.

She became defensive and tried to make you feel like the bad guy for snooping only because she knew she was caught. You were given a reason to suspect something, so of course you looked. Your actions are perfectly understandable. Hers are not.

Best of luck to you.
~C
sexting is chrating
by: Anonymous

I was 6 month pregnant when my husband cheat on me by texting, I gave him another chance but year later he is cheating on me in chat rooms with not one but two girls,reading their messages made me sick, lost all my respect, can't trust anymore and try to separate from him. Even 2 lovely kids didn't stop him so why should I give him another chance, and yes sexting is 100% cheating. Best luck with your girlfriend.
Going thru it
by: Anonymous

going thru this now..I went thry my boyfriends text msg and saw that he asked some girl to be his "cuddy buddy" ie fu** friend...

I dont know if I should say anything tho cuz I know he is going lie and say that his friend was texting from his phone or flip the script and get mad at me..

I didnt read the whole msg after I saw cuddy buddy that was it.The whole ride home I had no words he kept trying to hold my hand and be affectionate.

He knew something was wrong and I said I was ok...I'm going to tell him tho.

And yes IT IS cheating..
Is Sexting Chearing?
by: Anonymous

Sexting is mos def cheating. Anyone that thinks differently is in for a world of hurting. For me, it's 100% cheating and I would not tolerate it.
Sexting is cheating - "i found the same type of mesages on my husbands phone one night!"
by: Anonymous

Wow! i found the same type of mesages on my husbands phone one night!

I just casually was looking to see if he had a certain joke he had sent me earlier and I erased it, and sure enough there were text msges from my friend 49 to be exact!

There was a very provacative nude picture plus other provacative msges. His were deleted but her were enough to make me go ballistic!

Looking at our phone records I was able to see that for the last 3 months he had been texting back and forth with her, there were pages and pages for every day that he had been texting her.

He says he didnt cheat on me but in my mind it was an emotional affair. its been a year and he still sends her txt, not as much but it still happens.

When I check his phone they arent there but i see them on the bill. He swears he isnt doing anything wrong and they are friends.

The problem is if they dont feel they did anything wrong then it wont stop no matter how much it hurts you.

If she is just your girlfriend then maybe you should find someone else who will be completely faithful to you! good luck.
Is sexting cheating?
by: Anonymous

Is sexting cheating?

I definitely think it's deceitful so I consider it cheating. You wouldn't want your significant other to know so Its cheating.

You have every right to be mad, I know I would be. I could not be with someone that I caught doing that.

So, is Texting cheating? ABSOLUTELY!

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Signs of Cheating Spouse Forum.


Share this page:
Enjoy this page? Please share with others. Here's how...

Would you prefer to share this page with others by linking to it?

  1. Click on the HTML link code below.
  2. Copy and paste it, adding a note of your own, into your blog, a Web page, forums, a blog comment, your Facebook account, or anywhere that someone would find this page valuable.