Is she cheating? I need her texting details!

by Brian
(Murphysboro, IL)

Ok... Here is a long story and I think the answers are right in front of me!

I've been married for 14 years. My wife is 7 years younger than me and we married when she was 20. We have 3 children ages 8, 6, and 3.

I was a business owner in the construction industry which with the downturn in the economy has presented some tough times for our family. My wife has been so nervous about making it. I recently closed the business and I am now working as a manufacturer rep in the same industry with a good salary etc... so we can now see the light!

My wife works at a University. She is around many guys all the time. Many of them are young and the goof together alot.

On our 14th anniversary we got a babysitter for the first time in a long time and went out to dinner. As we left we wanted to go and have a few drinks, since we never get to go out alone anymore. I suggested going to a local bar that a good friend of ours opened. She threw a fit! I asked her why? She said because some guy she works with hangs out there and she didn't want to spend "tonight" talking with him about work and hearing all the work stories. She said he was a drunk, and he is funny and a good guy but all he does is hang out in this bar. I told her that we don't have to hang out with him. Just be cordial say hello and we can be together. She insisted NO!

This was all new to me... So we argued some about this. She made her point loud and clear.

A month or so goes by and we changed cell phone companies. Our old cell phone provider did not detail any text information but our new one did! I kept seeing this number on her text record that was strange to me. I then realize in the short month that we had this new phone, she shared over 250 text with this number. So, I called the number and he wouldn't reveal who he was... So I asked my wife and sure enough it was the guy from work she didn't want to be seen with me at the bar.

She told me that the texting was all about work. Complaints about co-workers etc... I let it slide.

Later that month before spring break, her and her co-workers were going to go out and celebrate spring. Which I'm ok with that. When you work in an office setting you have to make friends or it's hell at work. She told me she was only going to meet her girl friend from work for dinner. She met her girl friend after work (4:30) at a local resturant. She told me that it was dinner and then she would be home. At 8:00 I called her because our youngest was upset because we had no more milk. I called her 5 times and text her 3. No reply! Then at 8:30 she calls me from a bar, saying they ate and went to a bar... which is not what she told me she was going to do. I asked her to bring some milk home when she came home. She said ok, I'll be home in 20 min.

At 9:45, I called her agian... NO answer... I text her and she replied I'm heading home.

At 10:40 she got home with NO milk!

That next day I seen a friend while I was working and he said that he saw my wife at 2 different bars. So I questioned her about that. I learned that she went to another college bar that she never told me about.

So, I then logged into our cell account and learned that she was texting this guy at all hours of the day and night. Even at Midnight durring the week. As I was asleep!

So I confronted her about this. She said listen this guy is a good friend. We have gone through so much stress with the business and all, that she needed someone to talk to. But she said I see the trouble it's causing and I'll stop!

But she didn't I would see on the cell bill where she was still texting him over 300 text a month! So we faught hard over the texting... She then paid the early termination fee to take her phone off my account which only cost us $10 for unlimited everything! Now she has her own account with a password protecting it so that I can't see her text log.

We had some long talks and she told me this thing was over. So we got a baby sitter and was going to go out together and turn a new leaf.

We go out and have a real good time! Lots of fun! But, the next day I learned by seeing her log into her account and when she walked away that she text this guy 12 times while we were out and hid it from me again!

She insist that it's casual chats and nothing to it. I have no access to her cell account and no knowledge of her text details. She just tells me that we need to move on and that is it.

What can I do? PLEASE HELP!!!