Is she cheating?

by George
(UK)

Is She Cheating?

Is She Cheating?

Hello

My wife and I have been married for 10 years and I thought everything was very good between us. Ok we sometimes had disagreements over tidying the house etc but that is pretty normal stuff that everyone will go through from time to time.

We had a baby a year ago and it is a wonderful experience for us. After the birth my wife lost lots of weight and was determined to do so. She is now slimmer and more attractive than even before she was pregnant- that is great...

However in the last few months I got a new job that has meant alot more hours and with the added pressure of looking after the baby it has meant that things have got very stressful at times. Then I noticed my wife was not properly talking to me which meant I was asking her if she was ok alot which she always replied 'fine' etc which is so frustrating when you know things are anything but.

She had told me I do not listen properly and also that we dont have proper conversations very often and I agreed and put this down to a busy time in our lives.

Eventually curiosity got the better of me and I read some of the things she had been discussing with her best friends on facebook. I was shocked with what I read- basically listing the things that are bad about me and saying things like 'just because we have sex I think everything is ok' I know I shouldn't have done this- it is because I felt insecure and needed reassurance - NOT because I didn't trust her- then I started to read notes from 'male friends' and she had got very friendly with someone on a training course so I begin to hear alarm bells.

I asked her if everything was ok again in the light of what I had read and she kept reassuring me everything was ok- she found out I had looked at her facebook page and we had a row and I was accused of not trusting her etc. The thing is if she had done the same it would not have bothered me because I have nothing to hide. She has now changed the passwords etc but we have 'drawn a line' under this and having discussed that I need to talk to her more we are now getting on very well.

The thing is I know that the opposite sex are extremely intelligent and through experience very clever at getting you off the scent so you think everything is ok. One thing I also read when she was mad at me was 'Perhaps I should have an affair- but certainly not with @@@@@ (facebook friend) as I think Simon is reading my emails!! Also she things I treat her as a possession and not as a person- something I am changing.

This all happened a few weeks ago and on the surface everything seems ok. She is off on a girly weekend tomorrow which will involve going out to restaurants and nightclubs.

I am not at peace and I need to know that everything is ok. I was hoping someone on here could help and let me know what your thoughts are on if she is cheating.

Many thanks

Comments for Is she cheating?

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psychologist
by: George

Hello Babe

Sorry for delay in replying- been away.

Things are getter better by the day. The trust is back and we are talking like we used to when we first got together!! I will make sure I never fall into the trap again of gradually not having proper regular conversations with the one I love more than anything else in the world.

Anyway your question-

George a question to you please... One thing this guy said to me on phone was he went to a psychologist for 3 months , 3 times a week due to manipulating people out of anger...What does that say to you... you can email me personally if you wish to...

Let me just ensure I have understood the question first. So this guy manipulates people to get what he wants?? I suppose the important thing here is that this guy recognises he has a problem and is doing something about it. I tell you what- please elaborate this situation and then I can give you a more detailed view of what it says to me...

Hope all is well
G
You Are Very Welcome,, My Pleasure To Help Out *Smiles*
by: Babe

Hi George, So glad it's all working out for u both...Your habit changes are great also and helping with your child...I wish u continued success and when u feel like you are falling apart again, then just say the word courtship...That will get you back on track again...If you want more romantic ideas, just give a shout...

Have you read my poems in cheating poems section... Mine are - Dove Soaring Over Sea, Pain So Deep, Dreams Crying , Forgive & Forget .. I hope you enjoy them...The express all the emotions i feel towards my wife and i...She had an affair on me with a co-worker (male) after a 10 months marriage, we've been together 7yrs...In my poems you will sense the amount of pain i have been going through...All the websites i have read and learned about affairs (which i had no clue about, this has never happened to me before ). it's my first marriage and i honor our vows, i'm still faithful to them and will continue to be...My wife and i took each other for granted and she wasn't honest with me...She always got caught in her lies...She even swore on her moms grave she wasn't messing with him...How low can a person go, to disprespect the person who gave birth to them...Anyway, i'm just taking it a day at a time...It's been 10 weeks wife and i are living part from one another...It makes me happy to help someone else out...

George a question to you please... One thing this guy said to me on phone was he went to a psychologist for 3 months , 3 times a week due to manipulating people out of anger...What does that say to you... you can email me personally if you wish to... romance42@hotmail.com ...

Merry christmas to you and your family...Make it an extra special one :)

God Bless

Babe
THANKS AGAIN BABE
by: Anonymous

Hi Babe

Many thanks again.. My relationship is the most important thing in my life by a long shot and I am so much happier- the efforts are rewarded and she has been commenting how nice I am being and really appreciating the things I do. For example I now get the boy up every morning and not just at the weekends as this enables my wife to get ready for work (part time 3 days a week) more leisurely and less stressful for her. In general I do loads more round the house.

I have left nice notes under her pillow saying how much I love her... I have done this before but usually only when I was going away on a business trip. I am making sure I compliment her as much as possible because even though I have always known how pretty she is- she needs to hear it too!!!

I have also started getting fit again and reduced the booze and I am eating better which she appreciates too. I have realised how stupid I have been but I know this has been gradual and it is a lesson learnt that you should never take your marriage for granted.

I wish you all the best and Happy Christmas

Kindest Regards

George
Romance, Passion & Desire
by: Babe

Hi G , High 5's ...There u go...I'm glad u grasped what i was trying to say to u and it's working for u...Court one another again...I'm proud of u friend...Take both ur arms and wrap them around u, * thats a long distance hug from me *...One thing u need to know though, don't stop the courtship, romance, passion, spontanuity, small love notes on her pillow...I would like u to go to a store and find a glass red rose, any size is fine...Then write a little note and attach it to the rose, Write this on the note ( Laying a rose on ur pillow, may ur dreams be as gorgeous as u baby , I love u with all my heart n soul, wholeheartedly my gorgeous wife. xoxo ) Just go into the bedroom 10 minutes before both of u go to bed and place the note on her pillow, and u can leave her notes not just on her pillow, but where she mostly stays around the house, in the kitchen, by her car keys or house keys, taped to her purse...Be creative, maybe write her a poem on ur notes, Like Roses are red violets are blue , baby i'm so lucky to be madly in love with u, have a nice day, u are in my thoughts, heart n soul every second of the day...Also another note u can leave, ( Baby every time my heartbeats it's saying i love u xo xo )( Honey u are the other half of my heart that keeps my whole heart beating everyday, i truly love my gorgeous wife)...Goerge, thats being creative...Plan a weekend together...Maybe an overnight, get a babysitter,go to dinner, get a nice hotel room with a fireplace in it, buy a bottle of nice wine, some strawberries or cherries, whip cream, feed them to her sensually, always glance into each others eyes...U can even be creative with the can of whip cream and bring that into ur love making with each other...U can write across her stomach ( I Luv U ), and slowly lick it off, ( make sure u have a towel close by u lol )Thats foreplay, which is also important , when making mad passionate love...It would be fun and different, do different things in the bedroom, Maybe go to a book store and find a book about different sexual positions and how to keep the spice going in the bedroom, dr ruth is great , there are so many books out there that will help u both...Romance and passion should never die, always keep the flames ignited...I hope u have read my poems in the poem section of this site...Let me know how it all turns out, ur planned romantic evenings together and what ur wifes reaction is when u leave her small love notes...

Keep up the great effort

You are very welcome
Babe
Thank you
by: George

Hello Babe

Just wanted to thankyou for your advice- you are so right- it is the 'little things' that over the years are gradually lacking and these are extremely important in a relationship.

I fully appreciate what is needed to get things back on track and I am working on it - and having alot of fun in the process!! I have been helping out loads more and most importantly talking and listening more... simple things that are already making a great difference.

It is so easy to fall into the trap of almost taking your other half for granted without you realising thats what you are doing- she will never ever be taken for granted again and I think we are about to have a new more exciting chapter in our marriage- she is more important to me thatn anything else in the world and I am doing everything in my power to share the rest of my life with her.

All the reasons why we got together in the first place like the excitement of going on dates etc are starting to flood back.

George
Bring The Romance & Passion Back Between U 2
by: Babe

Try simple things, plan a date together...Go out , bring her flowers, Have roses sent to the house while u are at work...Maybe even cook dinner and set the table with candle light...Help more around the house, cleaning, laundry, recreations together...When u are both watching tv, caress her face softly, stroke her hair, talk softly to her, Make small comments like " honey u look beautiful tonight or today " always compliment her... Here is a website that might help u http://www.marriagemax.com/mc2.asp ... read the list of things u can do, u will find it just under the paragraph where it says " We decided to SET ASIDE OUR PROBLEMS " ...The list will help u and guide u how to bring the spice back in ur marriage and in the bedroom...Be spontaneous, creative , Open minded to sex/ making love...Maybe give her a nice sensual oil massage , and let her feel ur caresses once again, foreplay needs to be brought back...Marriages fall into a rut and in the bedroom and outside it...change habits, take a bubble bath together, or have one ready for her with candles around the tub and walk her to the bathroom and say to her "honey i love u and i want u to have your relax time " and u put the baby to bed while she takes a bath, then once she is done with her bath, you take her hand and kiss her softly and slowly walk towards the bedroom...U can have the bedroom set with candles lite in it and also rose petals sprawled all over the bed...Surprise her, bring ur romantic side out again...She is lacking attention is she wants to cheat...Mostly sexual attention, desires , to want emotional attention also...I hope this helps u...Don't give up...Save ur marriage...

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