My soon to be ex cheating or not?

by So Confused
(USA)

Well to start off we were married at a young age both of us were virgins. Within the first year of marriage I had a one night stand with a woman I met in a chat room and felt so guilty and sick over it , I confessed to my wife the next day, we seeked counseling and she forgave me and I got an addiction to porn off and on would go to and not.

We were married 12 yrs ago and within the last year i noticed a little change in my wife , she wanted a smartphone and suddenly wanted Internet on it which she didn't before , she started working nights at her job and the anytime I wanted to see her phone she would get mad and say it wasnt my business , it was her personal space to leave it alone.so I definitely had my suspicions I would try when I could but would never find anything .

Well eventually I posted an ad on the Internet for a coworker to try and seduce her, because occasionally she would say she had a meeting be about an hour late but turned into two hours. Well I had several guys respond to the ad and contact me and see if one of them could try and seduce her.

I know this was very dishonest but I wanted to know one way or another if she would or was being unfaithful because of my past infedelities and porn addiction.

So this guy said he had been flirting with her and eventually he said they made out in his car and she performed oral on him.this was the same day she said she had a meeting .

Well eventually another guy contacted me and I told him to forget about trying to seduce her because someone else allready was . Eventually she said someone from work a guy coworker approached her and told her the whole thing that I posted an ad.

She was furious and said she was filing for divorce. We both seeked counseling again me for my addiction her for post traumatic stress. We lived together until almost until a month before it was going to be final .

But my question is whether anyone thinks she was being unfaithful and so upset because of what I did or she was upset. Or she was upset because
she got caught.She denies it , the guy said they did , then later he told me he made it up.

While we were living together she started shaving her pubes and buying sexy see through underwear which she wouldn't do either before , so I think there was someone for a while , but she did this after she said we were divorcing. So I would like some opionions or am I just thinking all this up for nothing.