Pain from a Broken Heart

by Jay
(Alabama)

I wonder which one am I this time the sister or best friend 
I may even be the cousin, aunt or just a girl of another man
You never call me by my name always babe
But it was different I guess when you saw her face
I wonder how she looks is she light or dark brown
I'll never be able to get over this my smile will always be a frown
I have the dreams of you with another girl
I waking up crying so bad I make myself sick, I wanna hurl
What do I do, cry and ask why me
I wonder if we will ever make it what could we be
Can we be together as one or apart like two
How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot, if it was you
Going around making her smile, but why she's not I
It hurts so bad and me feel like shit, I feel like I can die
My heart is broken will I ever really be whole again in this life
Hers a better question do you deserve me as your wife
I look at you, you look at me with pain in my eyes
The pain you've cause over the years, the Dried tears from my cries
How can I love you after something so wrong
I listen to a sad, happy or heartbreaking song
To heal my pain and thoughts or at least try
At night when your asleep or I'm alone I ask why
I never get an answer because I'm always blaming myself
I'm a broken woman crying out for someone to help
I forgive you for so many wrongs in this life we have made
When will the sun ever come out from these clouds of shame 
Sad, lonely, embarrassed I feel them all
When will I ever be caught by these dreadful fall
Falling for you and all your lies and games
Do you know how much you've hurt me, all the pain
You will never know until I hurt you
But how will ever do this what will I do
Will I cheat, lie, make you feel low and down
Or will I do them all and make your smile always be a frown?