Semen in panties, no contact between us, but she says I'm lying.

by Ray
(Maryland)

My story is too long to type in sentences. Read my short hand please. Married over 25years, 28yr to exact. Kids - 9 Problem started and kids told me first.

Said wife was on phone in closet. I asked her was all ok. She said yes. I asked her if there was someone else. No. Continued. She started talking on phone outside of house, in back yard.

I started checking phone calls on line. 100s to same number, by same number. Like clock work.

Daughter found voice mail. Showed me. Said my wife's name and his name. I love you, will knock something loose when you come over Monday. Wife said it was wrong number.

More voice mails. I love you, you love me? Wrong number. No sex between me and my wife. She slept with clothes on fully dressed.

I took daily notes. Checked panties with checkmate many times. Positive for semen. Many times. Sent panties to a DNA specialist.

Positive for semen. Wife said no way. Said it was from me. I never touched her. She left me and my kids. I have them. Full custody. Have had them for over 4 years. Just me.

I asked her to come back. She said never. She don't trust me and never will. She said she put the semen in the panties. I said no way because she never knew when I was checking,plus,I checked for a course of two years.

What idiot is even going to give someone semen to put in panties. I knew the panties were hers too, because she changed every time before she went to work.

I waited every time. I had to have the truth. My question? Why can't I convince myself she is lying to the point that I really don't care who she sees, if she ever will come back and also move on with life.

I am so depressed even after I finally gave in and gave her the divorce she wanted. How do I just move on with out being bitter and ready to blow the guy's brains out or anyone I see her with?