She finally admitted it - "I love and want to believe, but how can I with so many lies"

by Known
(San Francisco)

A few years ago I got an anonymous letter that my wife had an affair when she went to visit her parents back in her home town. She goes there every summer with the kids. It totally blew me away. I confronted her with the letter and she denied it and said it was a cruel joke. The letter had some specific information, about the guy who was her FB friend. SHe said never met him and it was all a lie. I decided to let it go as I could not follow-up with the person. Fast forward to earlier this year. I got drunk at home while my wife was out with her friends. I decided to snop on her laptop (yes I know it was wrong). In there I found dozens of pictures of that same guy! I confronted her as soon as she got home. She admitted that had an infatuation with this guy, but she never met him, but did meet him for the first time on her last trip to visit her family. She said it was nothing but a childish curiousity of this guy that developed. Again I accepted her statements. And she promised to stop.

Again this summer she went back to visit her parents. Again, I got curious so I went on her laptop again. This time I found more picutres of that guy plus I found an email for several years earlier to one of her freiends about another guy. She wrote how they met and she felt he was the one.

I went insane. I called her friend she wrote the old email to and met for coffee. I confronted the friend that I saw the emails. She admitted it was true but it ended a long time ago.

I immediately called my and confronted her for the third time. She finally admited she did have a brief affair with the guy from the letter. She said the emails about the other guy was just a stupid infatuation. He did not even know she existed. She said that with the guy from the letter, she broke it after the letter came.

So, she says in all of these years over the last 8 years. She only slept with the guy from the letter once.

She said she has felt tremendous guilt since the letter came and has been trying to be a better person. She has been more religious since then and she made a little more effort in our marriage. She said it was a mistake she made a few years ago and wants to make it work.

I am totally confused. I love and want to believe, but how can I with so many lies.