Unease

by raejai

I have this major gut feeling that my fiance is not being faithful to me.

He works on a Cruise ship and is usually away for 8months a year. For the past couple of contracts we had special nites.

Now it is coming close to his time to leave and now am planning the special nites, he becomes defensive with me, sex is an issue for us.

We often argue why he does not want to have sex with me whether oral or vaginal. He says he is not in the mood.

He hangs out more than usual. He doesnot hang out with me, if i tell him lets go to a club or something he says no but he goes with his friends.

He gets upset when am on my phone but he does what he wants with his. He is always accussing me of lying and cheating, if he calls and i donot answer I am cheating, anything i do am cheating.

I know something is going on but i cannot place it. Could he be cheating?

Comments for Unease

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I work on cruises, he's cheating
by: Anonymous

Hi
I can make this very simple. I have worked on cruise ships for five years. There are approximately 1500 crew members on larger ships, and I have only ever met two men in five years that swore they would not cheat on their wives at home.

99% of men and women have several lovers on ships or one steady partner, and keep their life at home.

Some tell their lover about their spouses and make it clear it is only a ship fling, and some pretend their wife and kids don't exist as how would anyone really know?

It is really sad. There is nothing to do after work except drink cheap alcohol in the crew area and get laid.

That is literally almost every single persons objective onboard, aside from some who don't drink.

But even those that don't drink still find someone to keep their beds warms. Trust me, if he's gone for eight months he is cheating. And girls on ships are whores, it sounds horrible to say that but they are.

They know that they can sleep around and when they go home, no one will know. Plus, it feels "safe" because it's not like they have to go across town to some random apartment, they just need to go down the hall.

To any woman who's man is away on a ship, I adivse you NOT to believe they are faithful. It is just not that type of world and only those who work on one will know and agree with me.

Trace his email password next time he's home, you can download a spy tracer program for a free trial just long enough to get his password on his computer. I guarantee you will find someone keeping in touch with him from afar...

Sorry to be so blunt. I hope you find someone awesome, who is committed to getting off ships. If he says it is for the money, that is partly true as we make good money.

But mostly it's because the freedom is too hard to give up. It's a man's perfect world...
Sorry, I have been there
by: Anonymous

I hate to say it but he is probably most definately cheating. I have read the signs on here and they are pretty good.

The part about him accusing you of cheating is a dead give-a-way. When my husband cheated on me I always knew because he would accuse me of cheating.

Within a week I would catch him cheating whether it was with someone in person or on-line dating sites.

Search the popular sites if he goes on the internet, fubar, myspace, facebook, just looking at his friends lists will give you an idea of what type of person he is.
He's cheating on you.
by: Anonymous

I think you know the answer already--he's cheating on you. The defensiveness about sex is a key, and a HUGE red flag.

If you haven't already, read "Signs He's Cheating" on this site; you'll probably see things you didn't really notice from him before jumping off the page now. I can guarantee that if I'd seen it, I'd have jumped the gun on my ex and filed for divorce sooner.

Seriously rethink your relationship with this man, and DEFINITELY do not go forward with your engagement. I was engaged three times before I married my ex. I don't regret being married to my ex, but I'd have pulled the cord and jumped out of the marriage sooner if I'd have figured out sooner that his cyber affairs had become real life sexual encounters.

Best of luck to you, and I hope you become less uneasy soon.
Go with your heart
by: Anonymous

Im sorry to say but he is most likly cheating. He is trying to be defensive and controling to you to try and hide his guilt.

Im not sure if he loves you or not but seeing as he is in a sense shutting you away i dont think he does.

It is my opnion you confront him and try to find out the honest truth of the situation at hand. If he refuses to talk openly and honestly to you then your building blocks for a marriage arent even there.

Go with your gut feeling most of the time and follow what your heart says ( just dont be blinded by it) and you will come out okay.

I can relate to some of your pain and i know it is hard to deal with. my post on here "what to do" is tearing me up but i truly love my other so i am working on it if you belive its worth your time and commitment then work at it.

I wish you the best of luck.

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