What was my wife thinking? (Part 3 of 3 parts to my hell)

by Jack W.
(Houston, TX)

Part 3 of 3: Anyway, that is the story of my New Year's Eve, 2012, the 8th anniversary of the night I asked my wife to be my bride. Well, as you can imagine I was distraught and didn't really know what to do. Grief, sadness, shock, and disbelief ruled my thoughts for the next several days. After the first incident with the lies about meeting her friend for a 3 hour lunch behind my back, I had been convinced that the entire thing could be innocent and that I should stay. Now with this new incident happening a short 3 weeks later, I didn't see any way I could stay. My life was already filled with enough doubt and trust issues before this horrific event. I just couldn't see living this way, worrying every time she had a few drinks, needing to check to see if she was making out with some guy in the back, and since I occasionally travel for my job, how could I focus on my work, worrying if she was with some guy while I was trying to make a living. I don't think this would be healthy for me, mentally or physically.
Of course since this all went down 2 1/2 weeks ago I've been on a roller coaster of emotions, having moved out of our 4,000 square foot home, which is being occupied by my wonderful wife and my 12 year old step daughter, while I'm paying the bills, living in the 700 square foot apartment I rented recently. My wife (soon to be ex), tells me she is worried that she actually will need to find a job now, but that shouldn't be too hard seeing that I paid some $50,000.00 during the last few years to pay for her education, a Master's degree in Finance from the Bauer School of business at the University of Houston. Her 18 year old daughter who I raised as my own during the last 8 years might also need to get a part-time job as well, since all I've paid for so far is one year of her schooling,and her dorm, also at U of H. Oh,I forgot. My soon to be ex is also worried about how much cash she will walk away with after this is over. So, lucky for her, I can assure her that she will get a significant portion of the pension, and savings I have been working to accrue for the last 30 years, as well as probably all of the equity from the home that she is enjoying as I write this.

Even at this point I still often need reassurance that I'm doing the right thing. My up and down emotions sometimes try to convince me that what I saw in my garage that night was simply an innocent hug, and that my soon to be ex is indeed the honest, loyal wife she promised to be. Please tell me I did the right thing by leaving. My existence has been a living hell the past 2 1/2 weeks, but I need to know that I didn't jump the gun by leaving and starting my life over. Sorry this thing is so long, but I appreciate any advice you may have.

Jack from Houston


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