Why me? - "Why did he do that to me? "

by Tisha
(Ohio)

Why me, it hurt so bad
Having that feeling it always last.
Standing, looking out my window
Thinking, where is he at? What is he doing?
The thought in my head for 6 long months, the pain in my heart, the hurt.
Looking at our son only 2 months old, wondering why he's not here with him to hold.

He walks through the door with a look on his face. A every day thing, why is he always late. He walks past his son to go get a drank, a beer in his hand what does he think.

One leades to two, two leads to ten.
Passes out again and again. I grav his phone to look at the time, a text i see from 989. Who is this? i text from my phone, no answer back except a vibrate from his phone.
A text that said (she is texting me what do i say) with all my mite i hold my breath just for to bite for the words wont flow out. Do I wanna fight?

I asked my self. I wake him up with fire in my vains. The question i asked still haunts me til this day. (Are you cheating)? with tears in my eyes. He sure did deny, oh, why did he just lie.
I showed him the proof, so why should he hind, the thing he knew would hurt me the most, i just wanted to die.

The next day he left for work, his parents stoped by. I asked them the same question but there was no lie. They new all along for the past 6 months. He played with her kids and not his own. I cried all my tears, no more to give.

He came home early that same day, i asked him again, i told him her name. Try to lie now there is no out of the problem you made. He tried to work around but i was tired of all the games.

Why did you do this? I new i wasnt insane. He finally told me the truth with tears in his eyes. So i told him no need to lie. I knew in my heart, i knew for 6 months the feelings i have i go by my gut. He said he loved me and never will do it again. So i gave him another chance, just one is all i give.

For him to be a good dad to his son and a good man to me. Three years has past and lots has changed. He shows me he cares and our love is so sweet. A good dad he is to his wonderful son. A man i wannted him to be, we have so much fun.
But in the back of my head i still ask why, why did he do that to me? Why did he cheat?

I will always love him no matter what the answer is. So i keep it in my head try to block it out. As long as we are together i will always love him, and never ask him the question, the same question i ask my self every day (why me).