Wife and Mother worried

by J
(Fort Collins)

Hubby of 10 years all of a sudden texting ALL of the time. This is a man whom hates phones! Checked text log a month ago. There were like 200 old texts. Checked last nite and he is deleting all texts except for the ones from me!! What to do?

Comments for Wife and Mother worried

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Been there recently..but I found the proof I needed
by: Lisa

I sympathize with all of these posts that I read. I too have been there recently, but (fortunately or unfortunately) found the proof I needed.

I was 28 weeks pregnant and picked up my husband's cell phone to move it while he was sleeping in the next room (all he did was sleep the little time he was home).

I was going to play a joke and put something funny as his screen saver, so entered his saved pictures.

I found that he had taken a picture of his penis, and found a picture of someone's breasts.

I confronted him about it and he claimed he sent the picture to me (NEVER has he done anything like that).

He says the breasts belonged to some guy at work's girlfriend- he wanted everyone to see them.

At 30 weeks pregnant I was put on bedrest for preeclampsia. Because my husband was never home, I went to stay with my mother down the street.

My first night there I couldn't sleep. Being suspicious still, I entered his email. The idiot has some kind of text/cell phone tracking log sent daily to his email.

I looked at the logs. Not only can you see who he texted, but read those texts verbatim. I was disgusted because it was worse than I thought.

Just over the past month that I could stomach to read, he had gone to his daughter's mother for "quickies," even saying once that he'd leave the daughter with me so he could meet her.

He also had a very disgusting conversation with someone at work (a woman he pointed out to me once to show me how gross she was), and even met her to have sex - while at work.

Then he bragged to his brother about another woman. And even worse- he was having a relationship with an old "friend" in Wisconsin who was planning on moving to Ohio to move in with him and get married!

He told her we were separated and in the process of divorce. That was never even discussed. Until his recent behavior, I was as happy as can be.

And as I suspected- it was her breasts on his phone.

So here I am, still on complete bedrest, trying to keep calm for the baby, but hurting so badly.

He now tells me he had planned on asking for a divorce, but was going to wait until the baby was born.

I had no idea we were having any problems whatsoever.

So my advice to other ladies out there- trust your instincts. I know that snooping may look like we don't trust our husbands/boyfriends, but in your gut you do know when something is different.

I tried to talk to him first, and knew from his reaction and response he was lying. I am so glad that I found out now and was not taken for a fool any longer.

Now I have the best attorney in town and she is going to hang him.

I have gone through my feelings of "why wasn't I good enough," but I'm getting past that.

Now my focus is my baby and healing from the hurt and lies.
In the same boat......"found several texts to a woman"
by: Anonymous

My husband (18yrs) has always said he hates talking and texting on the phone.

Last month, I happened to grab his phone to use while on vacation and found several texts to a woman he works with.

He says she is just a friend to talk with, but when I downloaded our text activity a whole new picture was drawn. (He has also started deleting all texts execpt from me.)

They text first thing in the morning, over the course of the day and sometimes in the evening. I work fill-time and we have two children in sports, so I am always busy shuttling the kids to and from activities in the evening.

I've started keeping a log of all texts to and from his phone and where I was during the evening to match up the records.

I know this seems like a lot of work, but I want to make sure I have proof before I take my kids down that hard road of mom and dad divorcing.

I've been tracking these activities for 2 weeks now. (It was hard when the shock first hit me, not to let the run-away woman emotions control my actions.

But, I sucked it up and thought about what is going to be best for our children. I want to be all set-up and prepared when (and if) I get proof this is more than just my heightened imagination.)
Caught Redhanded
by: Anonymous

I can't tell you he is cheating, but my husband hated cell phones too and would never text. Then all of a sudden he was hiding his phone, taking it to bed, carrying it everywhere.

I checked the text history online and he was texting from 2a-11p multiple days in a row. Even during work.

I contacted ATT and they wouldn't give me the msgs without a subpoena, which I didnt have. I found a new email address and facebook account.

Printed all the proof and confronted him. He was embarrassed and very sorry. We are working things out, but it was an emotional affair, not physical. Thank God!!

But emotional is worse. I told him that if I ever catch him doing this again, I will hire an attorney, provide the proof, and contact the other woman's husb (which I am still debating on doing now) and he will be out on his a@#!!

Good luck. Confront him before it is too late. I have 3 kids and 18 yrs of marriage invested and he owes me.
Familiar Story
by: Dawn

Sounds familar. Keep a log for yourself. Print copies of log highlight her number. Then you ask questions.

If you have access to his phone text her say hi ask what she's doing. When you're ready talk to him about it tell him your concerned.

See what he says and go from there. You are his wife you have every right to be informed. Good Luck

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